Columns

While the marriage equality debate has been depicted as pitting social conservatives against same-sex couples, the argument that children do best when raised in “traditional” households is an implicit indictment of all alternative family arrangements. As a Family Court attorney who is involved in a single-parent household, I am disturbed by the flawed notions of domestic life being advanced by opponents of gay marriage.

Eighteen months ago I began a relationship with a woman named Brenda. When we met she was in the process of adopting a toddler from Russia. Being a 53-year-old childless male, I had no interest in helping raise a toddler, but when Brenda brought 18-month-old Marta to her New York City home from Moscow, I quickly became attached to her. Brenda, Marta and I have been a trio ever since.

This is a tale of two agencies, both of them suffering constant criticism from those they serve, both of them suffering constant meddling by those who think they know how they should be run. Both of their most recognizable employees wear blue, both do their work in all kinds of conditions, both have a well-known motto, both are absolutely crucial to civilization, both are being forced to make do with less.