It’s not your fault you were bullied. There is nothing wrong with you.
The person bullying you has no excuse. Bullies may not realize how badly they are hurting their targets, not only physically but mentally. Sure, some bullies don’t physically hurt their targets, but they do drive them to self-harm. Bullying should be stopped!
There are people who see bullying going on but are too afraid to say anything, because they don’t want to be the next target of that bully. Bullies don’t have the right to drive their targets to self-harm or, in some cases, death.
If you are reading this and have seen bullying, speak up! You can save someone’s life. If you are the target of a bully, don’t self-harm, it’s unhealthy. Don’t end your life because you think the bullying isn’t going to stop. You have your whole life ahead of you and you just don’t realize it, do you? Don’t you want to graduate high school and college? Don’t you want to get married, find out how it feels to be a mother or father, be there for your kids’ first steps and their future?
You can do so much in life. Ending it is never the answer.
You can help save other kids’ lives by telling your experiences. You can give advice to kids who are being bullied and so much more. Don’t end it just because you think there isn’t anyone out there willing to help, because there are a lot of people willing to help you and listen to you.
I think I should tell you about my experiences and what I learned.
I attended an all-girls religious school from ages 5 to 11. From the time I entered kindergarden, all the way through fifth grade, I was bullied. I never told anyone what was going on. I got teased in school for years because I had to wear special boots.
But I always got good marks and I was never left back. Some of my bullies were not so lucky.
When I was in second grade, there was a girl who used to take my lunch. My parents had to figure out what was going on the hard way. I wouldn’t tell them anything about this girl. So they decided to speak to the principal. When the principal found out she immediately knew who the girl was. I never heard from that girl after that, probably because she got expelled.
But that’s not the end of my story. The bullying kept on but I always made sure I had a smile on my face. As I said, I went to a very religious school. Every year they put on little plays when Christmastime came. I think one reason I was bullied was my mom’s fault. My mom used to cut my hair the same length each year, and when she did, I resembled a picture in school of Jesus. And I was one of the kids playing Jesus in the play, in the part where he had to carry the cross. The other kids who played Jesus never got bullied.
I also noticed that when I stopped wearing the boots, two days later my bullies became friendly to me. I wonder if my boots looked scary to them.
I think that no matter what the situation, no one has the right to bully someone else, because it truly has a big impact in the target’s life.
In the middle of fourth grade I was sitting alone on the roof of my house and I truly thought that death was the answer. I was going through a hard time. My grandmother had just died and I was really close to her. Also I was still being bullied.
I thought ending it was the answer but then I thought about my family, my only best friend, and my future life. Was it worth ending it and not being able to see what would happen in the future? No. I needed to stick around and make the bullying stop and maybe help people once I was able to help myself. Also, I didn’t want the bully to win! Now that I look back at myself, I think the idea of ending it was being stupid, but that’s just my opinion.
If I had ended my life I would have missed: coming to a new country, learning a new language, meeting blind people, meeting people with cancer, getting into the National Junior Honor Society, getting a Dominican Award at City College of New York from the consular of the Dominican Republic, getting out of ESL, going to prom with my best friends, getting into an honor class, going to a Mets game for the first time, learning to play two instruments, auditioning for high schools, getting into Frank Sinatra School of the Arts, graduating eighth grade and being able to play and sing at my graduation.
You will miss so much in life if you end it. Think about what would happen. Your family would be upset even if you don’t talk to them a lot. They love you. Instead, remember that you are strong enough to do anything if you set your mind to it. Just reach out and talk about what’s going on. Ending it should never be the answer.
If you’re cutting, and you want to stop, that has to be a decision you are committed to making. You can’t just say “I am going to stop cutting” if you really aren’t fully committed to it.
And to the bullies out there: Stop it! Don’t you see how much pain you are causing your target? Don’t you see how unhappy they are after you made them your target? You may not notice it but they are hurting. They can’t take it anymore. And you might want to stop before something happens and you have to carry the guilt of knowing you were the one who caused it. You were the one who made someone’s life that miserable. Just put yourself in their shoes. How would you like to be the next target? How would you like to be not only physically but mentally abused by someone? You don’t want to be the cause of someone’s death, do you?
For those being bullied, it’s hard to speak up but you have to. If you talk to an adult, like your favorite teacher, about what’s going on they might want to talk to the bully. Tell your teacher not to tell the bully who told them about the situation. If the bully doesn’t know who told the adult, they can’t do anything to you. If you do this, you would feel better and a bit safer.
If you are thinking about self-harm or suicide, talk to your guidance counselor or a psychologist about the situation. This will help you get all the frustration out that was built up.
I could go on and on about this but I think you guys get it. You matter, no matter what anyone says. You are beautiful, intelligent and capable. You are loved. I care about you even if I don’t even know you. So just think twice before you do something you will regret.
Genary Gomez, 14, of Forest Hills, just graduated from JHS 190, the Russell Sage School, and will be attending the Frank Sinatra School of the Arts in Long Island City in the fall.